Lunatic Fringe

(Ode to Tom Cochrane)

 

 

Well cowboys, welcome back to the Wild, Wild West also know as – on-line bridge. You find yourself in an allegedly an all-expert game, IMPs, none vulnerable and you South (a bona-fide on-line expert – now there is an oxymoron) to bid after a weak two spade bid on your right.

 

                   ♠ K                 

                   ♥ AK54

                   ♦ Q76

                   ♣ JT864

 

 

East         South      West       North

2♠              ?

 

Now I could send this into MSC Problem Director Mike Becker at The Bridge World, but he would laugh with Al Roth derision and say – “what’s the problem?” Moreover, he would be right.

 

Roth would never even open this rat bag let alone dream of venturing in at the three level. However, South was made of sterner stuff as they say and contemplated her options briefly.

 

With a gun to my head, I would consider double at MPs, but not at IMPs. Three clubs? You are kidding – right?

 

Well this player was not going to be pushed around and dipped her toes in the water. I want you to look at that hand one more time. If you are skinny dipping, (and you are), what options are there?

 

1)  Double.

2)  Double.

3)  Well….. you figure it out.

 

 

                   ♠ K                 

                   ♥ AK54

                   ♦ Q76

                   ♣ JT864

 

You bid? Well, it’s a trick question because you bid pass. But the player holding these cards felt a 3C bid was appropriate. Tom Cochrane was right.

              

 

You switch chairs to sit North. You hold and it is your turn to bid:

 

                      ♠AQT65            

                      ♥ 3

                      ♦ AK4                    

                      ♣ AK92      

 

  

    East         South      West       North

    2♠            3♣          Pass         ?   

 

A weak player will bid Blackwood and then 6C or 6NT and be happy to rest in slam, and probably score a plus.  A more seasoned player, being inherently greedy will be thinking grand slam. They might even stop to invite partner’s cooperation, pretending that they wanted it. The bona fide expert (and he is marked as World Class, even though he has not attained the right) is only playing here with a customer. Therefore, he is all too aware of the customer’s propensities. Of course, strictly for positional reasons the pro wants to play the hand.

 

For better or for worse, North cue-bid three spades. 

South rebid 3NT.

Wow!

 

 

East         South      West       North

2♠            3♣          Pass        3♠  

Pass          3NT        Pass        ?

 

 

North probably imagined something like  Kx  AQx  Qx  QJTxxx  in which case 7NT was lay down, but as the spade bidder was not on lead, clubs would play better if partner had (perish the thought) only five clubs.

 

North jumped to seven clubs and that became the final contract.

 

 

The auction:

 

East         South      West       North

2♠            3♣          Pass        3♠  

Pass         3NT        Pass        7♣

 All Pass 

 

 

I suppose if one bids like South, their play of the hand would demonstrate a likeness in talent.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                                  Dlr: East

                      ♠ AQT65            Vul: None

                      ♥ 3

                      ♦ AK4                    

                      ♣ AK92         

                         

                      ♠ K                 

                      ♥ AK54

                      ♦ Q76

                      ♣ JT864

 

 

East         South      West       North

2♠            3♣          Pass        3♠  

Pass         3NT        Pass        7♣

 All Pass 

 

Opening lead: 3♠

 

You win the King in hand, cross to the Ace of clubs, all follow.

You come back to hand with the ace of hearts and lead the jack of clubs.

 

After a low card from your LHO, do you finesse or play for the drop?

 

Well of course, it’s a silly question because you never would have bid three clubs and so, might not find yourself in a like predicament. Still, we all find ourselves playing these combinations, so it helps to get them right. South finessed, and who can blame her? The two-spade bid served its purpose.

 

 

          

 

 

 

 

 

                                                 Dlr: East

                      ♠ AQT65            Vul: None

                      ♥ 3

                      ♦ AK4                    

♠ 3               ♣ AK92         ♠ J98742

♥ QT9872                           ♥ J6

♦ 8532                                 ♦ JT9

♣ 73           ♠ K                  ♣ Q5

                   ♥ AK54

                   ♦ Q76

                   ♣ JT864

 

Poor Al. He is probably saying something like “it looks like a women’s party where the scotch has been flowing too freely.” And he would be right. I was North. I confess I was seduced by the fact that I imagined my partner had six clubs, after all is QT8xxx too much to ask for?

 

And I would be wrong. Ten lashes with a wet noodle to all, even the innocent West. After all, he could have at least held QX in clubs.

 

 

♠                      ♥                            ♦                        ♣